Photos.. El Cope

Being silly right before we were about to leave.

Lilian and I in El Cope. (She was part of the family that prepared food for us)

A hummingbird nest we found.

This is our "classroom"

Becca looking angelic.

Workin' in the jungle.

This fat toad was outside here every night. They even named her.

This spider drags that cage around to catch bugs.

Iguana.. nighttime walk.

A bird that ran into the glass. Another one actually died because it came in too fast...

Lots of little frogs in the rainforest

The Buschmaster.

Nighttime walk frog.

At the point where you can see both oceans at the same time.

This is the back of the pickup we were in. The same one that fell on our heads.

Cerro Punta

I didn't realize it'd been so long since I last posted.

After Ngobe Bugle we headed to Cerro Punta. Los Quetzales. As I said in my last post, it was one of the more luxurious hotels we've stayed in. We had our own cabin to ourselves that could comfortably sleep 12-14 people (we had extra beds left over). There was a big warm fireplace... it was quite the chill place. In more sense than one.

I had no idea Panama had areas where it was cold. Numerous people will tell you that it is a completely different world up there, and they wouldn't be wrong. We were freezing all the time... I never thought to pack a coat for the tropics.

Playing cards in our cabin near the fireplace for warmth...

Our food also was some of the best we'd had in a long time. The hotel had fresh salad. FRESH SALAD. It'd been awhile since we'd had that. We pretty much destroyed that salad bar three nights in a row.

The first day we went to GORACE, the Group of Organic Producers of Cerro Punta. They were based out of a little house, but worked on a lot of land. They showed us how they make their fertilizers and pesticides out of garlics, pesticides, molasses, and other organic materials. I actually ate one of their peppers that they use for the fertilizers. Mmmm spicy. There isn't a whole lot of genuine spicy down here in Panama.

Don Roger, one of the main guys of GORACE, was awesome. He's kind of like that sweet grandfather that knows everything and still has time to pull a quarter out of your ear. They prepared this wonderful lunch for us and then he pulled out this sauce made "especially for gringos (foreigners)."... more or less it was mayonnaise.

The entire time we were up there there was this heavy mist/rain, which meant it was pretty dangerous for us to try and travel in that weather. Meaning, we decided to skip out on El Boquete (a walks away on a cool trail... but a few hours by bus) and stayed in Cerro Punta... I don't think anyone minded.

Weird thing did happen though. In the mini-super, I got into a conversation with a couple Asian guys who run the place. They were Haka, and thus spoke 4 languages: Spanish, Haka, Cantonese and Mandarin, in that order. Then I started speaking chinese with them, and it came out quite odd after not having spoken it for quite a while. It was the first time anyone had told me that my Spanish was much better than my Chinese. Wasn't sure how to feel about that. Jaja.

But for those three days, we relaxed. After many days of traveling it felt good, and to be honest, after the experience in Ngobe, it felt good. But I almost felt bad, that is there every day. We were tired after just one night. We decided in Cerro Punta that we need to put something together for them. A charity, scholarship fund. Something. Hold us to that.

By the way, these photos are courtesy of other people as I didn't have my camera battery then. But this is Brooks, Celia (my mom there) and myself as we were heading down the mountain.

Tim Soo

Welcome back :)

They say that study abroad changes you, that you become a different person afterwards. Well, I don't know if it is as dramatic as that, but you do learn many things about yourself.

I'm not sure why I stopped keeping a journal or stopped blogging these last few weeks, it's hard to say. My best guess would be that slowly and gradually Panama started to begin to feel like home. Meaning, I didn't need to write back to anyone, document my journey, or feel like I was still on a trip... it started to feel like this is/was my world. Make sense? Probably not.

But nonetheless, we continue. :)

Apologies.

For all who haven't given up on this blog...

I'm safe, healthy and headed out for a week to do my research in Isla Caña. Breathing time has just been severely limited these past 3 weeks.

But I will post. Just bare with me another week.

Tim Soo

Posts

They're coming :). I'm back in Panama City after another round of traveling and scrambling to finish work... but posts are coming. :)

Tim Soo

Please Read - 10/12/2008

I have a gym-sized duffel bag and a regular backpack. The contents of these two bags is worth at least 10 times more than all of their possessions. I write this from a hut built from leaves, wood, and metal scrapes. My mother has one of the bigger "houses" in the village. It's about a 50 square meter space of earth that is covered by a makeshift roof. This is their home. This is the home of my mom, a 70 year old woman (a generous estimate) still working as hard as she has her whole life, and 5 kids, ages 5, 7, 11, 12 and a baby. They all call her mom, but I wonder if any of them are actually her children.
They've given me their best. I sleep on an elevated platform of wood (it rains a lot so the floor remains as mud). Actually since I've been here the rain hasn't stopped. I'm drinking from the only glass and she's given me the most food.
I want to say "give it to the kids", "I don't need it", or "the children are growing, feed them"... but I can't. I'm only a one night temporary visitor; there are lines I can't cross.
They've told me their names, but they're complicated and I can't remember them all. Vicente, the oldest at 12, says he loves to travel. All the while in the back of my head I wonder if he'll ever leave the village. The next oldest is also a boy, though his name escapes me. It's in Ngobera, the native language here. He listens to his brother, but loves to talk and never stops asking questions. Then there's Loira. She's just learned her numbers and was so excited to show me she could write to 20, even though she only made it to 19. When I showed her how to write 20, she seemed almost defeated, so proud at what she'd learned but wishing she could learn more. The last girl is my favorite. She doesn't talk much. She just loves looking at me with bright eyes and smiles. She's always smiling. A smile reaching from ear to ear that makes you filled with joy, but at the same time pained, for want of giving her more for this life. And there's the baby. He has a huge round belly, like the African babies on those infomercials, and is always crying. Always asking for his mommy.
As we made the 1 hour hike to her house the first day, my mom pointed out the houses of all her children. There were at least 4 on the path we took. From what I gather, she has at least 10 children. And without medical care, I can't help but wonder if she's had many children that didn't make it. That didn't survive.
The kids all wear clothes 10 times too big, shorts that belong to adults or hand-me-downs of many generations. They're all covered in mud, and... they're so excited about school. I wish I could keep my stream of thoughts steady but it's difficult. My eyes fill with tears as I write each line, as I think of everything they don't have... as I think about the life I have and the life they don't. But they are so excited about school. They keep telling me what they've learned. Vicente asked if I could keep my flashlight on longer last night so he could finish practicing his cursive. He doesn't really know what he's writing, but his letters are copied pretty well. "She doesn't know her numbers yet", her brother says, pointing out the girl who smiles. But she still picks up random cards, holds them up, says a number and hope she's right. They've all showed me they can write their numbers and the different ways to do so.
I wish I was more prepared. Why wasn't I more prepared. I guess I just didn't know. I've given them all I can with the stuff I have. When I arrived, the kids all surrounded me. After I haded a hand-crank LED flashlight to their mom, they all held out their hands. But I didn't bring much with me. Why hadn't I been more prepared. I gave them my stationary (pouch of writing instruments) for school, 2 decks of playing cards, my umbrella, and a bag of granola I had bought in Chitre. They were so excited for the granola, calling them coookies. I don't htink they get sweets that often. By the morning, the light had already been put to good use, the cards had been divided among them, the bag of granola was empty, and the umbrella--well, I don't know if she knows I'm giving that to her yet. At first I wasn't, b/c that was my only method to block rain, but her face fell when she gave it back to me after borrowing it. Who cares if I get wet. I can buy a new one. I wish I had been more prepared.
For breakfast I had a bowl of plantains and a hard-boiled egg. But to be honest, I wasn't hungry. Which was odd since I hadn't eaten since noon the day before, but I don't think I could be hungry. I tried to eat as little of the breakfast as I could, trying to find the line between "I don't like it" and "I'm full", eating just enough as to not insult. The kids needed it more. I offered an almost full bowl and half a hard-boiled egg to the kids and they eagerly split it up. I wish I had been more prepared.
--Break-- The kids have realized I'm awake and want to play
They get 50 dollars a month for everything from the government. Otherwise they live off the land. We're paying 12 dollars for a night and three meals. They all have huge round bellies from lack of nutrition.* The diet I've seen in Panama has been relatively the same until now. They eat only white rice.
I spent all morning playing Memory (matching cards) with them. And then chopped wood. With four logs, my hands both started bleeding.
--Break--The kids wanted to play again.
These Ngobe women are Amazonians. My mom has to be at least 70. And can still climb the 1.5 hour trip up the mountain, and can cut a heck of a lot more wood than I could.
The kid's do have school. About an hour and a half away. It's a dangerous and long walk, but they love it all the same, telling me what they've learned every second. I'm repeating myself, but that's how it is.
My community project is about medicine. But every time I talked about medicine**, the topic returned to farming. Everytime. Can you imagine not even being worried about medical care because your only concern is food? In the Isla Cana community, I asked some interviewees what they thought were the basics of life. They listed 7. Water, food, housing, work, medical care, electricity, and education. Even with prompting, my mom could only think of three: water, food, and a roof. The rest she listed were more types of food they needed. I asked about medicine. She said "that would be nice" in the same way I'd say "it'd be nice to win the lottery. Three times."
I couldn't eat while I was there. As I said, I took enough bites to be polite. But mine was the only bowl with an egg and some veggies. I don't need it. I had hungry faces looking at me and when the mom wasn't looking I had them split my food. It was gone in about a minute.
Sorry Aly, I don't know if this is against the rules, but I left them money. I told he mom it was for the kids. This was probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life. I decided to put all the "it's inappropriate to leave them money", "I don't want to seem like I'm living so much of a better life", and "what if Aly finds out" thoughts aside, as long as the end result meant that maybe the kids could get protein, shoes... something.
The face of the smiling Lula (by the way, they're names are Vicente, Aguilde, Loira, Lula, and Jorge) will forever stay with me.
If you've read this entry thus far, please keep reading. The next time you eat something, count your blessings for having a choice, for having all food groups, for having a roof, for being able to worry about things such as medical care, insurance, education, politics, or anything you're worried about now. Be thankful that you can worry about it.
I just bought snacks at a store. I'm going to stay in a hotel, with clean beds, running water, electrivity, anything, everything while my five brothers and sisters ninos sleep on one elevated wooden plank with their mother.

*Edit 10/14: I found out later that they're bellies fill with liquid from a lack of protein as their internal organs deteriorate from not having enough protein for regular reparations
**Edit 10/14: I was conducting an interview for my project

--Edit-- 10/14: I decided not to edit it. That entry was written across three time periods. The morning when I woke up, at noon, and on the bus leaving the Comarca. A comarca by the way is the equivalent of a reservation more or less: a land set aside for the indigenous populations. The facts don't all line up in what I wrote, and there are discrepancies here and there. But it is exactly how I felt when I was there, and I felt that, at least that, was important to share.
After a debrief discussion about our experience in the comarca, I realized that once again I was looking at the line between "cultural difference" and "poverty". To better phrase it, how much of how they live that differs from my life is just because of their culture, and how much of it is something we should go and fix? An example. Some Japanese women don't try and search for careers and take care of the family as part of their culture. A woman gave a speech at my school about how "we must correct this problem." That is a cultural difference, not a problem. But what happens when the culture, the indigenous culture that they've known for centuries, is also keeping them at extreme poverty? The Ngobe people were nomadic, always moving to different plots to farm and live off the land. This culture of simple farming no longer functions. With no more land, the nomadic lifestyle ceased in the 40's and 50's. Using the same techniques to farm the same plot of unfertile land has stripped it of nutrients. Where is the line that says this isn't a cultural issue, it's something we must fix? The difference I witnessed between Isla Cana and Comarca Ngobe-Bugle was that the people of Isla Cana were happy with their lives. The people of Ngobe are suffering in many senses. The distended stomachs told me that I was now on the other side of the line.
Our group discussion also told me that in my initial assessment, I wasn't entire correct. My emotional state then and the life I came from led me to make conclusions that completely disregarded their cultural lifestyle. To be explicit on this point is still difficult as I have trouble removing my own experience from my objectivity, but I did realize that perhaps my view was a bit more extreme than necessary.
At the same time, that is how I felt when I was there. Those were my words without edit. The experience of a upper-middle class University student seeing what is classified as extreme poverty for the first time. I've seen the infomercials, I've watched the sad movies. This was entirely different.
The last paragraphs of my entry I still hold firm. Be thankful for your worries. Be glad that you can worry about that exam next week, that electric bill you have to pay for, that car you need to have fixed. You're reading this from a computer you had access to, internet you have access to... perhaps we all should take a different view on life, realize what we have, and recognize the responsibility we have to use our knowledge, to make an impact, to use wisely the life we were given.

10/11/2008

Review of the last few days: The next day on Isla Cana, we started bright and early to watch turtle eggs being loaded, washed, and put onto the boats. The turtle eggs are for consumption. Apparently they're a very powerful aphrodisiac . The rest of the morning was spent on a boat ride watching the mangroves and going around the Island. In the afternoon we made candy--pretty much sugar, molasses and coconut meat. I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. That night we also had--

--edit-- 10/14:

When I was writing this entry, I was already in the Ngobe-Bugle comarca and if you read the next post, you'll realize why I couldn't keep writing about the past few days... it no longer seemed important. However, I did note what I wanted to at least write about (excluding the comarca) and so I'll continue the post I left off there.

List: Party, Arribala, Love of the People (Becky), Bug bites, Chitre (good shower, starting to get to people, Spanish, Margarita)

The day before was Katie (Cati)'s birthday. Happy Birthday! I know I speak for the group when I say we felt horrible that there wasn't much we could do for her, since we were living as guests in another community without access to stores to buy cakes, presents or even the freedom to celebrate on our own. It was somewhat just bad timing, and we were all already planning to throw a bash in Chitre after Isla Cana.
That night, however, we had a party for Katie. All our host mom's got together and prepared food (yucca and salchicas), ordered a cake from the nearest bakery (sent on a bus from Lastablas... 2 hours away), and set up an area to celebrate. And quite the bash it was. They sang some of their songs, we sang some of our songs. They taught us some tricks (whistling in odd ways) and we shared some of our talents. It was a night of grand cultural exchange.
After the party, we still had a night of tortoise watching. And to be honest I was too tired to even want to go, but it turns out I would have missed a rare spectacle. The "arribala" happens only a couple nights during the tortoise season where a hundred plus tortoises swim up to shore and the same time and deposit their eggs. The first night we had struggled to observe one. That night the beach was filled with tortoises all making their way up and back. We must have seen at least fifty in the couple hours we were out there. They continue until morning so there must have been many more. Sadly, this is one of the last locations where this phenomenon continues. Due to overharvesting of the eggs, numerous locations no longer witness tortoises every season and even the turtle conservation in Isla Cana is struggling to reach a sustainable level.
I walked to the meeting point the next morning to see almost all the moms there to say good-bye. Some of the girls had handmade ornamental flowers in their hair, gifts from Isla Cana. The people of Isla Cana are immensely affectionate and caring, offering us everything they can. To order a cake from far away is both difficult and expensive. There is only one public phone on the Island, no regular medical doctor, and no sanitary restrooms. Many of the houses are makeshift of wooden planks with space enough for a couple rooms inside. They're a poorer region, and they were giving us so much. Becky's host mom stayed up the entire night to finish making her flower. In only a few days, these people made us feel like family.
Oh and when I left I had 75+ bug bites. Apparently I have tasty blood.
We returned to Chitre to rest for a couple days, our first "weekend" in a while. To have a shower again felt amazing. I never thought not having certain amenities would bother me always telling myself that it's just like camping and that it's not a big deal, but it did slowly start to become a challenge to fight the desire of wanting a toilet, shower, hot water, and other home comforts.
Feeling like that made me then and now whether I should feel guilty for wanting these things, or whether I should pity the people of Isla Cana for not having them. It's trying to find the line between "it's just a cultural difference" and "is this something they really want?". From Isla Cana, I deduced that yes there are many things that need to be improved from their eyes, but I feel as though the majority of them were happy with the simple, tranquil life. At least I know my host mother definitely was. I interviewed her, asking about problems on the Island and she couldn't think of many or had to think longer to come up with something that could be improved. It was this that made me think perhaps this is more of a cultural difference than a poverty issue. I apologize if I'm not making sense, but in writing this in retrospect, I have to fight to not compare their situation to the comarca Ngobe-Bugle, which is jumbling my thoughts on paper. But I'll continue.
I think Isla Cana and Chitre was a period of the bottom of the W for a lot of people, probably spawning from the stress of traveling or just... stress. There was a bit of breaking down from almost everyone, including myself. It was in Chitre when I couldn't fight the huge desire to go home, to be around family, and to be around familiar surroundings. No doubt everyone at some point will go through something similar whether it be hating the language, country, trip, or some aspect... to the future travelers, it will happen. Just keep going. :) Soon you'll find the reverse is true... wishing you could come back from your comfortable room at home.
Spanish also started to fail greatly as a group. We made a renewed pack to stick to it, officially banning English. As a group, you can decide whatever you want, making rules or punishments that, sure, might help you inundate yourself into the language. But really it's a personal battle. It's completely a personal battle to get the language etched into your brain. My suggestion? Change everything around you into that language. For me? Gmail, Facebook, Journal, Leisure Reading--all switched to Spanish. And even then it's still hard to fight English. But since then we've improved, step by step. And it's paying off.
Brooks and I were sitting in our room watching the movie Posiedon when the floor started to shake and a monstrous roar came from the street. Margarita, a Panamanian, had won Latin American Idol. The street was filled with people watching a large screen that was airing the show. People around Panama had been voting like crazy, selling goods to buy more cell phone SIM cards in order to text in another vote for Margarita once their previous one had reached the max votes. (By the way, cell phones here don't work on plans, you buy more minutes as you use them). That night Latin America broke a record for the number of texts in a given period. People in the states think American Idol is popular. Latin American Idol is 10 times bigger. It's a battle between countries, each one trying to express their pride. It didn't really matter if Margarita really was that much of a better singer, they were all great. What mattered was Panama was showing off their guns, their pride, and showing the world what they got. It was quite the fiesta.

I actually made a note to write about the Ngobe comarca for 10/11 as well. But I think it's mainly covered in the next post. Please read.

10/7/2008

We started the day learning about the island's daily doings. We saw and tried to cut rice the traditional way in the fields, saw the cleaning process of the fields (to prepare for the next harvest), and saw how to weave (by hand) a fine hat made from a fiber of a plant (the woman said it takes about a month to make and can cost up to 100 dollars --edit-- 10/14: an extremely high cost for Panama). After lunch and class, not much happened. We went to the beach (about 200 m away) and body-surfed. The waves were big and the beach was empty. The sand was soft and the water was warm. It was indeed very calming. Tonight I got to witness part of the reproduction cycle of tortoises. We set out at 9 PM and went back to the beach. In all, we saw 4 tortoises laboriously make their way up to the beach, dig a hole, deposit their eggs, and return to the water. By the way, that's what Isla Cana is known for--their turtle conservation. So they're pretty much pros. Interestingly, you're not allowed to have too many lights at one time, b/c they use the ocean's reflection to know where to head back. Too many lights and they won't have any idea of what's going on... Oh and I have 44 insects bites (that I can count). I might have had 10 before today. And unfortunately I'm not kidding. Life here is tranquil...but bug-filled for foreigners not used to the insects.

10/6/2008 Part 2

Today was tranquil. I slept in the afternoon and then everyone met up to make bollas, which are long thin rods of ground-up corn, butter, and salt, wrapped in palm leaves and boiled. It was a fun process working with everyone. It seems everyone is enjoying themselves here b/c it's been very tranquil getting to know everyone (--edit--10/14: You'll probably see "tranquil" a lot more in these next posts b/c "tranquilo (a)" is a very popular word here for saying "it's a good/just relax/don't stress" kind of sentiment.) I played Trio-Par (triple-pair) and gambled with all the people. It's a popular game. The game is mostly luck after understanding basic strategy, trying to get a set or flush-run of three and a pair. I lost, but it was worth it getting to know everyone, talking and joking and having a good time. Some of the jokes were directed at my game/language slip-ups, but that's what makes it all the more fun, no?

--Edit-- 10/14

At this point in the journey, I was secretly scared out of my mind. My back tooth had begun hurting badly and I had assumed this meant that postponing the removal of my wisdom teeth was finally starting to catch up with me. I was starting to imagine having to go back to the US for surgery, which did give me some joy to be able to go home, but really I just wanted to remove the pain. It went away after a week of some intense cleaning of my teeth. And let's hope it stays that way.

10/6/2008

Friday was quite packed. We started out in the morning going down to the river to capture insects, test the water, etc in a fashion I thought was horrendous for collecting data, but great for learning. The downside about going to the river was that it was one heck of a hike. We were all fairly wiped by the time we got back up. After lunch and a bit of class, it was clean up time. We did our best to clean up everything, and after dinner we were waiting for the bus. It was funny. On the 2+ hour bus ride to Penonome, Becky, Becca, Brooks, and Andrea were singing English songs in Spanish... translating as they went. Aly was very amused. We got checked in to the Guacamole (Whack-a-mole) hotel and walked over to this huge "Baile Tipico" that was going on. (--edit-- 10/14: Originally we were going to go to Chitre, but we detoured to Penenome and then to the city since we were all going to the Juanes concert.) We had to wait a while, but then it got started and we were off to being gringos trying to do the Panamanian Dance. Twas fun, but after sweating three buckets still decked out in our hiking clothes (it was crazy packed and thus crazy hot) and almost going deaf from the volume of it all (w/ the sponsor phrase "Cerveza Panama" being blared through the speakers every five seconds), I headed back for some sorely needed rest. The next morning we headed for home (in the city).
Saturday afternoon was spent getting to know my pillow better, washing clothes, and repacking for the next excursion, b/c that night we had the JUANES concert! Now, I'd actually never been to a pop-style megatheatre type concert before and I will say that I was adequately impressed. Juanes lived up to his popularity. Aside from being an outstanding guitarist, he sang his songs pretty dang near CD quality in a way that couldn't be lip-sung (if that's what you were thinking) and sang fairly non-stop for 2 hours. Oh and the entire thing was sponsored by Canada Dry (my favorite soda) and if you bought two sodas, you got a free t-shirt. Wicked, ne?
After the concert, it took a long time to find a taxi out of there but I made it back to the house around 12:30... just to go back out. Elssie and Joana (friends of my friend from Emory) took me to their friend's house where I semi-learned to salsa, meringue, and some other whose names I can't remember. After we grabbed a bite of Niko's 24 hr Cafe, I went to sleep around 4 AM.... rest would have to wait though, b/c the next morning at 7 I was up and ready to leave the city again. Well I was up at least. After class in the morning, the 9 of us headed to the Bus terminal to catch a public bus to Chitre... and I forgot my phone charger.. and camera battery... meaning no pictures from me (for a while)... I tried buying a new one at the terminal, but it seems my camera is outdated.
Anyways, off to Chitre, checked in, short lecture with a sociology professor, dinner, and sleep. Today we headed to Isla Ca~na. It was a 2+ hour ride, from which we then took a short boat ride to the Island. My Isla Cana mom's name is Delfina, and we're just started the day. I'll keep you posted.

--Edit-- 10/14

It's almost painful not to correct the English in my journal entries... and leaving them as if they were written by a middle school version of myself. The more I type today, the more I can feel some English returning to me, and transcribing the poor vocabulary and simple phrasing of my past entries is a humbling task.
By the way, if anyone was wondering what I've been eating, it's mainly been a similar diet, which is why I haven't mentioned it. Everywhere I'd been up to this point served generally rice, chicken, and plantains. Occasionally there were a few veggies or beans of some sort, but the diet has been similar, and continued to be through our time in Isla Cana. :) It's quite tasty though.
Advice to future study-abroaders, find people outside your group... natives to befriend. They say the best way to learn a language is to date a native of that language... but if you can't do that, make friends. It's easy to stay within the confines of a group.. and battle the awkwardities of a new culture together... but bite the bullet and do it.

10/2/2008

We saw a Buschmaster. The morning went as follows: Find a spot of 10 m by 50 m and mark it with tape. Then identify, measure the diameter, and measure the height of every tree within that space. Seems easy enough, except we were traversing a wet dark damp forest that was so dense you could only move around occasionally. We only did two plots of this size and it took us until lunch. Lots of fun though. Afternoon was restful with only a lecture, in which we didn't need to take notes. We ate soup (for you Chinese readers, it's almost exactly like shee-fan). Yum... After analyzing the data, we went on a night hike... well all of the people who wanted to see snakes anyways. This hike wasn't planned, though. There just happened to be a woman working with snakes there (--edit-- 10/14 The girl from Wisconsin). Well, Alyson isn't a fan of snakes, especially when there are many in the forest that only have antidotes in Costa Rica. Oh and some of the venoms would kill you within 4 hours... or less depending on your health. So the rule was, we could go on a night hike, but we couldn't look for snakes. And we were true to our word, and stayed on a very clear path. And... we found a Buschmaster. The woman had been searching for one for 3 years, and had never found one. The forest we were in was completely the wrong type for its habitat. Oh and there isn't an antidote for its venom in Latin America, and you'd die within the hour. Our guide told us people go through entire careers without finding one... and apparently when you dont look for it, you'll find it. Que Chevere!

10/1/2008

Brooks and I woke up early and just relaxed with a view of the vast mountains, which turned out to be good b/c this was one of the most tiring days on this trip. We spent the morning until 12 or 1 in the forest collecting data and insects. One person had a net and among the rest we had a thermometer, hygrometer, infrared thermometer (to measure leaf temperature), densiometer (to measure light), measuring tape, and some other equipment. Every five whacks onto the vegetation we stopped, bagged everything in the net and recorded data with each instrument. We did this... 100 times. Meanwhile, we were changing locations often so it was also a hiking trip. Tiring, but enjoyable. The afternoon was less fun. We spent much time drowning insects in alcohol, removing them from leaves and other foliage (in a large vat that did NOT smell great), identifying them, and then recording the fruits of our efforts. By the time we finished, it was past 8 PM. What a day.

--Edit-- 10/14

It's definitely a humbling experience to try and analyze yourself, realizing that people are all different and have such vast opinions--meaning with each interaction we share, you can only every change yourself. Change how you act, react, think in a way that makes you more personable to others, liked by yourself, and a happier person. Funnily enough, however, even after everything you do, the nicest person in the world still won't mesh with everyone. C'est la vie, but we smile and move on :D
Immediately after this day, I can't be sure whether my fear of insects increased or decreased. I remember trying to do my best to not be disgusted, but it was a difficult venture. Now, however, almost a month later, I find myself not too bother by insects at all, as long as they don't bite.... or carry disease.
Reading back over my entries, I see my English skills suffer more and more as my mind vacillates between Spanish and English. I don't have a large enough vocabulary in Spanish to speak as I would in English, and often have to find detours and simpler methods to get my point across in Spanish. In turn, my English skills are starting to follow a similar pattern just out of habit. Nothing that a couple days in the States can't turn back.

Edit

10/24/2008

Just a note on the emotional side of the story.

When traveling in a such a small group, the dynamics are always changing. And quickly, too. At this point in my journey, I was struggling definitely mentally and emotionally. It was difficult to continually try and not step on anyone's toes, or offend anyone minutely, while trying to be yourself and find your niche. It's a constant battle that continues all the while you're trying to force yourself to only think in Spanish, only talk in Spanish, and become as inundated as possible b/c you know that if you leave this country without having gained what you came looking for, you'll be kicking yourself for ages.

9/30/2008

10/24: Note: all these entries were written in my journal and are just being transcribed.

A day of theory. Woke up...freezing. Class, lunch, walking, and class, though we did walk to a point in Panama (or anywhere for that matter) where you can see both oceans at the same time. Unfortunately, it was a bit too cloudy too see much, but we did eventually get to see both coeans, though not exactly at the same time (though clouds kept changing sides). (--edit-- 10/14: The forest is called a Bosque Nubloso or cloudy forest, so it makes sense.) There also happened to be a woman from Wisconsin studying snakes in El Cope, so we got to see some snakes and by the end were adequately scared out of walking into the forest. It's relaxing and very liberating without technology, but only now can I truly know what it means to travel without contact (or much anyways). Normally it's hard to be that homesick when Skype is only a click away...

9/29/08

Began at 8. By the time we were all ready, packed, and on the bus, it was close to 9. A quick stop to pick up the gear and we were off. The bus was about -50 degrees Celsius, but it was hard to say whether to scolding heat was any better. It's almost normal to have Panamanians guys fawn over "gringas" (US girls) accompanied by a cheesy line, creepy looks, and occasionally a bit of stalking. This happened a bit at the gas stop. (--edit-- 10/14: This is a cultural thing, they aren't actually being creepy or anything. It's very normal).
Anyways once we got to Cocle we had to switch to a truck. That's right, a regular pickup truck. We loaded all the stuff overhead on a metal framework and sat underneath in the truckbed. The ride was slow and extremely bumpy (we were going up and down "trails"). It was so bumpy that the metal framework that was holding up our luggage broke. Yep the metal snapped if half. Luckily, we were almost there... and hey we survived, more or less. (--edit-- 10/14: and now have a story to tell! Awesome experience :D) The afternoon was spent getting introduced to the trails of Parque Nacional El Cope and to the equipment we'd be using (a lot). Nevertheless, most of the day was spent resting after a long journey...

Goodbye Love

It's 10:22. We're leaving tomorrow morning for El Cope Parque Nacional--this is the beginning of our month on the road. As mentioned before, I won't have much cell phone signal much less internet contact, so it might be quite a time before the next post comes. Even still, they will come... eventually.

This last week we had our interviews with different "saving the world" agencies in Panama. By this I mean social development organizations, government agencies, animal rescue, forest conservation... everything. We went off in pairs and met with different groups.

On Tuesday Becky and I met with MIDES (http://www.mides.gob.pa/) which is the Ministry of Social Development in Panama. We met with someone from the Department of Communications and learned as much as we could in a 30 minute interview. The building was close to where we lived so it was only a 5 minute bus ride. Their headquarters were quite vast, a labyrinth of halls and corridors. This organization is working hard to improve social capital in Panama. There are programs for illiteracy, young people's involvement, community building, and much more. The website details a lot more if you're interested but for me, the experience just made me realize how many people are fighting and just how big the problem of poverty and underdevelopment actually is. Sitting in our comfortable homes, we often forget that our world is still sick, both in its physical health (land, ocean, atmosphere) and in its people. I started to realize that people can only attack this problem little by little and achieve small successes here and there, but not until huge changes in mentality occur, not much global change will be seen.

Thursday morning, Andrea and I visited the APPC (www.panamerican.org): an organization trying to educate people about wildlife, promote eco-friendly development, and rescue animals. After the interview, we got to play with some of the animals they used for demonstrations. There was this adorable squirrel monkey named Kong (after King Kong), who ironically could fit comfortably in my hand. He did enjoy jumping around the cage quite a bit though. There was also a baby ocelot (who stayed in its cage thankfully) that was also muy tierno. There were some other monkeys, snakes, rodents, and some other animals... all in the backyard of this small building (the area didn't allow them more room for the animals :(...)

New York Bagel, our little taste of home that we frequent pretty often to do work and eat wireless. Thought it was appropriate that I at least post a picture of it before I leave the city.

Lecture this week was with Dr. Varela, who brought the face the difficulties of dealing with Panama's problems. He also introduced the term social capital, and how it often is overlooked when building capital. (Social capital refers to community building, youth programs, parent organizations, and in general things of social nature).

Thursday we had our "debrief" in this nice Indian restaurant called Machu Pichu. If you didn't know, Panama is very similar to many US cities in that it has every genre of food. Chinese, Indian--you name it.

Friday I turned 20. No longer a teenager, eh? Though I'm behind for my grade and thus was called a "jovencito" by a couple people. lol. Although it was sad to be away from my family and friends from home for my birthday, I definitely had my friends and family here.

During our break in Spanish class, we had a mini-fiesta where the group had bought some Chicha de Avena and some pastries from a popular bakery to celebrate. I blew a candle, we sang some songs, and hey, I turned 20. :P

Party time!

Cati (Katie) She's like our group mom, always looking out and worrying about everyone :)

Señora Elvia on the last day of Spanish class... She was an awesome teacher!

Friday, unfortunately, was also exam day so I spent 2 hours in the afternoon typing furiously until my Panamanian family surprised me with cake, dinner, songs, and even more celebration. I've been very blessed. :)

My birthday cake from Momi's (the bakery)

My family! Grandpa, Grandma, Señora Eva, Michelin (gf of Jose), Jose

After that, we went to watch a documentary on urban poverty in Panama, which was extremely sobering. I'm typing this on a computer I could afford, in a room that has been arranged for me, with the knowledge that if all else fails, I still have the comfort of my bed back at home. It's easy to forget not all share this blessing. After the documentary a couple musical groups sang... but then we were soon gone.

One of the groups that sang with the hilarious bassist.

The other group we stayed for. They had a drum box.

To where? Karaoke and dancing of course. One of the girls said it was the "most fun we've had as a group since we've been here." And although I was completely exhausted, I'd have to agree. We sang horribly to Juanes and the Beatles, danced on a stage, and met many local Panamanians. Only cost 3 dollars, too. Late that night we headed home.

Alejandro (Brooks) was the first to sing. Knee-popping action.

Dance the night away folks.

This next month, as I said, I will be gone with the exception of a few stops back at the house, on which days of course I'll have to check in just to assure people I'm alive. But I'm excited about this next part. As someone who has never known life without technology, I'm hoping this will be an amazing and sobering experience. I'll keep you posted.

Intermission

Seems every time I finally find time to return to the blog, another week as passed.

On the twenty-ninth, I'll be leaving to an internet-less abyss for a while. If I get a quick stop in an internet cafe or stop in the city for a day or so, I'll be sure to write that I'm alive. Other than that, the blog posts will stop for a while and apologies to the Diversity Abroad people, but that's what happens when you sign up for a Study Abroad program that takes place on the road and in the forests. I could try plugging my laptop into a tree? We'll see what happens.

Recount the time; lots has happened, lots I've wanted to share, tell, write... but there wasn't time. So I'll stick to the events. Monday we began a course with Ariel Rodriguez, a Panamanian professor and mammal expert. That's right, we were off to see the mamíferos de Panamá. Monday: Spanish class, lecture with Ariel. Not much there. Tuesday morning we started at 5:30 AM. Yep, seems lots of mammals are nocturnal in the tropics. So after waking up at four and waiting for everyone to get settled, we head for Cerro Ancon and stayed there until 10. After another afternoon of Spanish class (four hours...) we had to soon head back to sleep because the next morning we began even earlier at 5:00 AM... until 12. And of course class afterwards.

We celebrated Natasha's and Alyson's birthday at a Peruvian restaurant called Machu Pichu on Monday! It rained like crazy... I couldn't even leave the house for a while... and probably one of the only times in my life that I thought the rain could actually bring the roof in.

But let's skip the unpleasantness of waking up at crazy hours and instead see what benefits were reaped, eh? We saw many many sloths, monkeys (I'd never seen them outside of a zoo), birds (Toucans as one of the more exotic ones), large rodents(like conejos), and more--all of different species.

Sleepy Sloth.. it's name literally means "lazy bear" in Spanish

Huge caterpillar. Colorful, though eh?

Plenty of spiders everywhere :) And not just huge, poisonous. Yay!

Can you spot the monkey? There around fifteen in this bunch (but only one in the picture)

One of the lakes that was formed when they made the canal

At the top of the tower looking over the canopies. Becca doesn't look too happy.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we had class with Juan Mate, culminating in a trip to Isla Galeta where we snorkeled all afternoon after a morning of studying mangroves (which, as it turns out, are extremely interesting). Oh and a two hour drive. But what better excuse to sleep? The reef was beautiful and although most of our snorkel gear was faulty, we all eventually got to simply float in the ocean, admiring the wonderful world below.

During class one day. We realized there were no pictures of Laila. :)

Isla Galeta!

"class"

Pretty?

Studying Mangroves

Saturday Night I accompanied my Panamanian mom and brother to a graduation/birthday party of one of their family friends. Most of the people at the party were part of a closely-knit black community and church, which according to what I've learned, do not part take in dances as they often tend to be more on the conservative side. In place of this however, there was a constant stream of group games under the direction of a maestra. And it was extremely exciting! Until I got volunteered to play. I was playing a game similar to Catch Phrase. The goal was to get me to say the word as fast as I could given any clues by my three partners. The problem? The game was in Spanish. I knew the first couple but when it was my turn to do the guessing, twas tough pulling vocabulary (I couldn't remember "culebra" for snake and could only remember the word for serpent) and eventually was replaced by a native to the language. Didn't help though, the girls still won. :) There was much singing and laughing. I felt privileged to be able to have a glimpse into an important moment that community, from when the grandparents teared up talking about their granddaughter becoming a true adult to the self-composed songs sung by three boys (perhaps younger cousins of her). Either way, I was glad to have been there.

The next morning, I met up with Michelle's (a friend from Emory) family and went with them to their church, Crossroads. The church alternated between English and Spanish every week and most could speak both. Even more amazing, I met a friend of Michelle who could speak Chinese as well as I could! This, too, was one of the uplifting experiences I needed to remind me how awesome study abroad is. Just by being with Michelle's family I could understand her better, Panamanian culture better, and realize that in the end, we still all share the "human" culture, eh? (I'm repeating myself from other posts, but still... I call it like I see it). The church was extremely generous (I got a gift just for going!) and spent lunch out with my adopted family for the day. The rest of the day of course was spent writing papers for class, but it seemed almost odd to be doing so. Homework and essays aren't the true work in Panama.

Nature's Flood Protection

As always I, as Mr. Rogers, have some words of ... something... before I sign off this time. Learning a foreign language is truly a struggle. I began keeping track of the number of times I speak in English accidentally... in the hopes that it would motivate me to use Spanish in all aspects of the day. Learning a language, however, has its own "w", it's own ups and downs with which we just have to be patient. For example, after my Sunday trip speaking in Spanish and writing in Spanish the entire day, I found my speaking abilities greatly diminished today, from a mixture of exhaustion and brain malfunction. If you ever get to this point, don't be deterred or fall into the pit of speaking your common language just because the person you're talking to can understand your native tongue. Breathe, start slow, and try little by little. Becoming fluent means using it as your native tongue, right? Meaning we gotta speak through the energized and the tired... Meh. Buena Suerte.

-Tim

New Place, New Happenings

Breathe. Try everything. Breathe. Smile. Breathe. And keep going.

As this has become one of my only remaining English outlets, this has also become my place to share the lessons I learn... as I learn them. I'm of the belief that you should love your enemies. I mean, love everyone else too, but love your enemies. Having said that, it's no easy task. So... make less enemies. Simple enough, eh? Kinda.

It's hard to yell at a smile. Granted, some people get even más enojado when you do so, but then it just makes the situation that much funnier. If someone is yelling their heads off and you're smiling, trust me, the situation will seem quite a bit funnier. For example, at frisbee tonight (I'll explain more in a second) a woman yelled down field at another player "teach him how to throw a forehand" in a not too pleasant tone. I, of course, was "him." Now having played ultimate frisbee before, I felt immediately offended at this... I had been throwing forehands all night, hadn't I? Well I had two roads. One, I could label her as "crazy intense", not too gentle with words, and just a unhappy person in general. Second, rationalize that there's probably some reason she said what she said and in the tone that she said it. Maybe she'd just been fired and wasn't so happy. Maybe she wasn't too skilled at expressing her thoughts in a more peaceful manner. Either way, it doesn't really matter. But in the second way, I'd go up to her and as sincerely as possible say, thanks for the advice, thank her for playing with me, and ask what else I could do to improve? Needless to say, the second way was much funnier given the bedazzled look on her face. It's rare to see a face of shock, confusion, anger, happiness, and speechlessness all at the same time. But at least by going to second route, it meant I wouldn't be playing "avoid crazy lady" and instead, now have a friend (who considerably loosened up after that interaction).

Now, this is all Barney-give-me-a-hug and after school special-like, but hey, Barney and friends and the Power Rangers had reason. And either way life is just a lot more fun when funny.

Oh and I stood on my head today. An Argentinian guy was doing after the game (seemingly to de-stress) and said "try it." And hither to the first line of this post, I did... though with much less skill, and much more blood rushing to my head. Ponytail dude (I forget his name) instructed me how to do it better next time. I hope I remember his name.

And another point. By try everything, I mean that if your foreign country mom invites you to church, temple, grocery store, or something else, do it. If "guy in car" asks you to get in and go hit the bars... use the thing between your shoulders.

The breathing thing. You'll hear this a lot and I've said this already once, but remember to take a break from the world to truly relax. Stress builds without you knowing. But don't cling onto your "relaxing agents" too much... you have limited time in a FOREIGN country. Or if you're applying advice to life, you have limited time in.. umm.. on this planet.

Hmm... so quizás (perhaps) the advice is a bit too crazy optimistic/unrealistic, but as it turns out, the optimists tend to have a lot more fun. And yeah, it's hard... and at times it sucks (when it's just much easier to judge and be angry)... but it gets easier. :)

This is seeming a bit more like an advice column. To news! I'll try and recall to the best of my ability everything that's happened since the last post... so since... Tuesday.

There was a new happening with the Spanish teachers, but again I'm not at liberty to write them on the internet. Let's just say the choice 1) choice 2) advice came in handy their as well, though I didn't deal with it as well as I could have... because at the same type, I do believe you should speak your mind. Sorry, this is a bit cryptic. Hmm.

Moving on, we returned to the forest with Dr. Roy Thursday morning, this time the Parque Metropolitano (last time was Soberania) which was very cool. Didn't get to see much in terms of animals, but studying vegetation is actually really interesting. Plants are pretty dang smart. Oh so are bugs. By the way, skip some of the pictures if you're scared of spiders.

Like this one. :)

Hail Caesar!... Dr Roy and the magic of candidity.

So the plant he was explaining in the previous picture is this one... whose name escapes me at the moment, but it tends to grow in "light gaps". Plants of this type sprout up quickly but aren't of the long-term type.

I spent most of the morning actually watching people watching other things. The dynamics of people are just amazing to me. The actual number of thoughts that go through our head without us being aware of it is staggering. And it fit, seeing as though in order to enact change in Conservation and Development, we must also understand people, eh? Conservation Biology really is an extremely multi-disciplined subject.

A very "band of brothers (and sisters)-esque" picture

This forest is much younger, and thus has a lot of "jungle" quality to it.

Arachnaphobes... beware.

The view from the hill we were on.

A flower imitating bug. Just for reference, it's about the size of my pinky fingernail.

A clearing at the top.

After our goodbyes to Dr. Roy, it was a fairly tranquil Thursday night and after a short class on Friday (our teacher had to leave and Natasha was sick) we had a luncheon for our "debrief", which wasn't as successful as it could have been because we were tired and itching to start the weekend. But not a whole lot happened Friday evening, just some seriously needed rest.

This... was our Saturday.

Our huts.

(People in college) "Hey guys you guys want to go hang out at ______'s apartment tomorrow night? Yah! Awesome man."

(Us) "Hmm how about we go to a tropical beach this weekend using public transportation that costs us less than gas would if we used our own car?" Yeah. That's right.



Haha, it was fairly amazing, reading, swimming, relaxing on the beach. It was a 2 hour trip out and two hour back, but well worth it. Careful though, be prepared to pay for every little aspect, as the beach at Santa Clara is less developed with fewer amenities, meaning a dollar here or there for hut and hammack rental, beach entrance, shower, bathroom, etc. Considering it was our first time out as a whole group, it think it was pretty successful.

And after sleeping a complete 12 hours Saturday night, I went to Mass with my mom the following morning. For me, it was fairly moving and culturally rich and a reminder that even though we're all from vastly different cultures, we all still share various important aspects of our lives. Turns out the human experience between cultures isn't that unique. We're all still human, ne?

And in the afternoon, Becky and I set off for the City of Knowledge (Ciudad de Saber) where we had our frisbee games. There were enough people for 2 games going on at once with subs and we pretty much played as long as light allowed. It's nice too, rain doesn't stop you. The rain's not freezing, and still 90 degrees outside so it's rather refreshing. Anyways, Becky and I had a lot of fun and got a ride from Joel (a nice guy we met) for home.

Tengo mucha tarea. Hasta luego chicos.

-Timó or as everyone else pronounces it... Tímo.